Chat Transcripts


Chat Session 3



Group ID


Course ID

User Timestamp Message
Sommers, Krista07:51:26 pmgood evening
Diaz, Kathryn07:51:54 pmgood evening!
Fulda, Katherine07:52:24 pmHello!
Aaker, Rebecca07:53:06 pmhappy wednesday !
Freudenberg, Beverly07:54:01 pmevening!
Briske, Krista07:55:41 pmEvening
{Doerner, Hope}07:56:54 pmHappy Wednesday!
{Doerner, Hope}07:57:37 pmAnyone else ready for the rain to stop?
Cantrell, Heather07:57:49 pmnope. I'm loving how green its making everything
{Doerner, Hope}07:58:12 pmTrue - I just would like a day of sun in between them
Fulda, Katherine07:58:10 pmAs much as i want it to we need it!
Aaker, Rebecca07:58:32 pmwe are not getting any rain in Rochester. It is so dry and warm
{Doerner, Hope}07:58:48 pmWe had some strong thunder and lightning last night -
Heitkamp, Kristy07:59:34 pmHello
{Doerner, Hope}07:59:48 pmWelcome
{Doerner, Hope}08:00:30 pmWell - I have 8
{Doerner, Hope}08:00:36 pm:shall we start?**
Cantrell, Heather08:00:29 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:00:43 pm*
Heitkamp, Kristy08:00:44 pm*
Fulda, Katherine08:00:40 pm*
Briske, Krista08:00:49 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:00:54 pm*
{Doerner, Hope}08:00:59 pmWhat are the methods of discipline you are currently using that are not working?
Freudenberg, Beverly08:01:21 pmbreaks
Kaczor, Thomas08:01:32 pm*
Diaz, Kathryn08:01:36 pm*
Fulda, Katherine08:01:29 pmbreaks
Steffan, Kaity08:01:41 pmbreaks too!
Diaz, Kathryn08:01:41 pmI third breaks
Briske, Krista08:01:45 pmBreaks
Kaczor, Thomas08:01:47 pmsorry i was buying cilantro
{Doerner, Hope}08:01:55 pmLOL breaks it is - can you say more why they are not working'
Aaker, Rebecca08:02:00 pmProbably nagging. I did not realize it was a form of punishment until I read the reading this week. A little more listening and giving choices is my goal to curb some of my naging
{Doerner, Hope}08:02:11 pmNo worries Thomas - cilantro is essential in our house!
{Doerner, Hope}08:02:26 pmGreat one Rebecca
Cantrell, Heather08:02:21 pmbecause breaks don't teach children anything
Freudenberg, Beverly08:02:41 pmThe same kids keep doing the same behavior
Heitkamp, Kristy08:02:45 pmNagging
Cantrell, Heather08:02:42 pmthey can work to calm a body, but usually children use them when that is not necesary
Diaz, Kathryn08:02:52 pmPointing out the negative
Briske, Krista08:02:55 pmNothing changes after breaks
Steffan, Kaity08:03:01 pmIt just gives them a short break and then nothing changes
Fulda, Katherine08:02:54 pmthe children sometimes cant think of why they had to take a break in the first place and i would rather address the situation right away.
Sommers, Krista08:03:05 pmtimeouts or the loss of the toy that they are being rough with
Kaczor, Thomas08:03:07 pmhaving them sit somewhere else is a bad one i've had kittle
Kaczor, Thomas08:03:14 pmsuccess with and moved on from
{Doerner, Hope}08:03:19 pmOK - I know this was not one of the questions but do you have some things that are working for you
Diaz, Kathryn08:03:48 pmProviding a space where kids can feel safe and regulate again
Kaczor, Thomas08:03:55 pmhaving them sit with me works well, that way we can reflect on what
Diaz, Kathryn08:03:57 pmidentifying how they are feeling for them
Kaczor, Thomas08:04:00 pmhappened together
Aaker, Rebecca08:04:00 pmfocusing on a solution instead of punishment
Schaible, Amy08:04:00 pmpositive praise
Heitkamp, Kristy08:04:03 pmsometimes redirecting
Briske, Krista08:04:07 pmTalking about feelings why we feel that way how we would feel if this was done to them. A place where we can chat comfortably
{Doerner, Hope}08:04:10 pmI do think designing space for them to find a palce to help with regulation is good
Cantrell, Heather08:04:04 pmtaking a child winding up for beahaviors as a helper when I have to go to another class or giving them a job to funnel their energy
Kaczor, Thomas08:04:24 pmsorry i'm not sure why my messages are sending partway through
Steffan, Kaity08:04:33 pmTalking through the what and whys of their behaviors
{Doerner, Hope}08:04:33 pmI don;t want us to forget we have good things happening but want to add to that kist'
{Doerner, Hope}08:04:36 pmlist
Schaible, Amy08:04:42 pmredirecting, calm down corner, giving a job to
Fulda, Katherine08:04:36 pmtalking to the kids anout the situation first and then maybe taking a break afterwards or sometimes we have them go to the directors office if things get reaaly hard for a child or teacher
{Doerner, Hope}08:05:05 pmWe need to make sure we are giving ourselves some pats on the back
Sommers, Krista08:05:16 pmI got some of those fidget poppers and they sit with those and relax and then we talk about the situation
{Doerner, Hope}08:05:46 pmReady to move on to next question?**
Fulda, Katherine08:05:41 pmAmy, giving them a job does works well
Cantrell, Heather08:05:42 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:05:52 pm*
Heitkamp, Kristy08:05:52 pm*
Diaz, Kathryn08:05:53 pm*
Kaczor, Thomas08:05:54 pm*
Schaible, Amy08:05:53 pm*
Fulda, Katherine08:05:46 pm*
Briske, Krista08:05:55 pm*
{Doerner, Hope}08:05:56 pmWhat are some types of punishments according to Jane Nelsen?
Sommers, Krista08:06:00 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:06:00 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:06:25 pmlecturing
Aaker, Rebecca08:06:24 pmshaming, guilt, name-calling, withdrawl of privileges
{Doerner, Hope}08:06:28 pmYES
Heitkamp, Kristy08:06:30 pmtime outs , nagging, grounding
{Doerner, Hope}08:06:43 pmSOme of the things we just listed
Briske, Krista08:06:44 pmShaming and nagging
Kaczor, Thomas08:06:48 pmshaming and guilting
Sommers, Krista08:06:50 pmShaming, nagging, belittling negative comments
Steffan, Kaity08:06:54 pmtime outs and shaming a kiddo
{Doerner, Hope}08:07:07 pmWhen do you feel it is appropriate to use punishments?
Fulda, Katherine08:07:01 pmbasically putting a kids feelings off to the side. shame
Sommers, Krista08:07:46 pmif the child is harming themself or another child. if they are out of control and just can't focus on anything
Aaker, Rebecca08:08:02 pmI don't feel it is appropriate ever. We can set limits for young children that can be inforced with kindness and firmness
Cantrell, Heather08:07:53 pmwhen a child is hurting other children
Diaz, Kathryn08:08:04 pmAre punishments really appropriate? I don't think ensuring safety should go under punishment
Cantrell, Heather08:08:07 pmi think there is a scale of punishment
{Doerner, Hope}08:08:21 pmI do think we need to be aware of any physical violence towards another child - we do need to separate
Schaible, Amy08:08:23 pmwhen safety is an issue
Cantrell, Heather08:08:16 pmnagging would be on one end
{Doerner, Hope}08:08:29 pmAgreed but say more Heather
Steffan, Kaity08:08:32 pmafter multiple attempts of redirection
Heitkamp, Kristy08:08:36 pmyou really shouldn't use them
Schaible, Amy08:08:46 pmgood point Kaity!
{Doerner, Hope}08:09:30 pmThat can also be true Kristy - not saying you eveer have to but some may feel there are certain things that may need them - always good to know we each will have differences
Cantrell, Heather08:09:32 pmwell yes, time outs are punishment, but necessary at very specific times, for example when a child is out of control and is in a fight or flight mode. their brain isn't able to reason or calm down and you can't risk other children in a group environment
{Doerner, Hope}08:09:55 pmI would really make sure they are a last resort and not to be used at all or if they are very rarely
Cantrell, Heather08:09:47 pmbut then you would never and should never shame a child or use corporal punishment
Cantrell, Heather08:09:51 pmits a scale
{Doerner, Hope}08:10:09 pmLove that as a good example
Pepple, Tiffany08:10:29 pmSorry, late, computer crashed so I'm working on my phone! I agree sometimes a time to breath is necessary, sometimes I feel they need to be out of sight to stop the fight or fight mode
{Doerner, Hope}08:11:00 pmNo worries Tiffany - thanks for preserving and still coming!
{Doerner, Hope}08:11:04 pmReady for another questions?**
Cantrell, Heather08:10:58 pm*
Schaible, Amy08:11:08 pm*
Sommers, Krista08:11:09 pm*
Fulda, Katherine08:11:02 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:11:11 pm*
Kaczor, Thomas08:11:14 pm*
Heitkamp, Kristy08:11:15 pm*
Pepple, Tiffany08:11:16 pm*
Diaz, Kathryn08:11:17 pm*
{Doerner, Hope}08:11:21 pmWhen have you most likely used rewards to change a child’s behavior?
Briske, Krista08:11:27 pm*
Steffan, Kaity08:11:28 pm*
Briske, Krista08:11:41 pmPotty training
{Doerner, Hope}08:11:50 pmNice Krista B
Cantrell, Heather08:11:42 pmWhen the behavior is new and not concrete in the childs repetior
Kaczor, Thomas08:11:51 pmpotty training
{Doerner, Hope}08:11:57 pmExactly Heather!
Sommers, Krista08:12:02 pmPotty training, cleaning up without prompt and also helping out other children without prompt
{Doerner, Hope}08:12:03 pmAgreed Thomas
Steffan, Kaity08:12:09 pmWhen they are struggling in a transition. (bathroom, coming into class, putting winter gear on, etc.)
{Doerner, Hope}08:12:12 pmGood ones Krista S
Freudenberg, Beverly08:12:15 pmclean up time
{Doerner, Hope}08:12:19 pmYES Kaity!
Diaz, Kathryn08:12:19 pmclean up time
Schaible, Amy08:12:19 pmclean up time
Aaker, Rebecca08:12:22 pmWhen it is time to transition to another activity( going outside is a big one)I reward them with more time outside if we all work together and clean ( pick up)
{Doerner, Hope}08:12:27 pmLove that Beverly!
{Doerner, Hope}08:12:36 pmClean up is popular
Pepple, Tiffany08:12:58 pmBoth potty training and outside time
{Doerner, Hope}08:13:16 pmWhat might be the long term effect of rewards be on a child's self esteem?
Cantrell, Heather08:13:25 pmlack of self motivation
Pepple, Tiffany08:13:39 pmExpecting a reward for normal behavior
Diaz, Kathryn08:13:46 pmOnly feel validated or important when rewarded
Freudenberg, Beverly08:13:48 pmthinking that everytime they clean up they get a reward
Fulda, Katherine08:13:40 pmive used rewards for potty training and as a goal for some of our harder kids to work towards. if they dont reach therir goal then they dont get one/ when they do they get praised beond belif in hopes they want to work hard to earn that reward
Aaker, Rebecca08:14:09 pmbad or worthless. They may struggle with trust issues
Kaczor, Thomas08:14:11 pmmany of our kids are beginning to expect prizes (rewards) for doing nothing
Briske, Krista08:14:19 pmThey expect a reward for doing something and then get upset when they don’t get the reward and quit doing what they should have
Sommers, Krista08:14:20 pmfeeling as if they should always "get" something for every thing they do.
Steffan, Kaity08:14:20 pmexpectations arise
Schaible, Amy08:14:36 pmlack of gratitude, excepting a reward for what is expected behavior
Aaker, Rebecca08:14:40 pmoh sorry. I misinterpruted the question. I was going for the effects of punishment on a childs self esteem
{Doerner, Hope}08:14:51 pmYes - rewards can help but they can long term become a crutch and they will want bigger and better ones - so with clean up - it might work for a while and for some but after a while they expect the reward and if not cool enough - why bother'
{Doerner, Hope}08:15:16 pmLOL Rebecca - I apologize - I went off script and did not tell you'
{Doerner, Hope}08:15:40 pmIt is a fine dance - Jane is no rewards ever - I am more rewards sometimes but not always
Aaker, Rebecca08:15:42 pmjust copying off my notes, Hope. I need to read better LOL
{Doerner, Hope}08:16:01 pmNo worries
Sommers, Krista08:16:40 pmhaha I had to double read the question also because it didn't sound right to my answer I wrote down before
{Doerner, Hope}08:16:48 pmAs I said our first night - I like a lot of what Jane says - but rewards is one area we disagree - we all need to take from her material what works for us
{Doerner, Hope}08:17:06 pmOK - how about I ask the question on the syllabus?**
Cantrell, Heather08:17:01 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:17:13 pm*
Kaczor, Thomas08:17:15 pm*
Pepple, Tiffany08:17:15 pm*
Fulda, Katherine08:17:08 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:17:17 pmI know most like stickers, and I hate them
Briske, Krista08:17:18 pm*
Heitkamp, Kristy08:17:19 pm*
Sommers, Krista08:17:21 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:17:21 pm*
{Doerner, Hope}08:17:22 pmHow does learning about the three criteria for effective discipline change your ideas of what techniques work to reinforce positive behavior?
Diaz, Kathryn08:17:25 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:17:54 pmFocus on solutions instead of punishment
Steffan, Kaity08:17:59 pm*
Cantrell, Heather08:17:52 pmit brings me back into long term thinking instead of immediate (behavioral on my part) action
{Doerner, Hope}08:18:07 pmYES _ love these
Heitkamp, Kristy08:18:09 pmchildren's learn from actions
Freudenberg, Beverly08:18:13 pmfinding teaching moments
{Doerner, Hope}08:18:24 pmI know we say teachable moments a lot but so true
Pepple, Tiffany08:18:31 pmLong term effects of actions
Schaible, Amy08:18:46 pmfocus on long effects and not immediate results
{Doerner, Hope}08:19:04 pmI think we often are focused on stoppong something now in the moment but thinking what do I want them to learn long term - huge shift in thought process
Briske, Krista08:19:11 pmTeachable moments
Fulda, Katherine08:19:04 pmredirect with a solution to the problem at hand instead of thelling them not to do the things they are doing.
Sommers, Krista08:19:12 pmfor me I didn't realize how negative a time-out was being. I will definitely be focusing on the positive of the situation more and not so much on the negative
Kaczor, Thomas08:19:35 pmexpanding teaching moments is something i"d like to work on
Pepple, Tiffany08:19:58 pmHow to teach them the skills to self manage and but just hide the bad behavior
Diaz, Kathryn08:20:04 pmFinding moments to teach during hard times
{Doerner, Hope}08:20:07 pmWe also need to realize for those of you in centers the MN Rule 3 guidelines for gudiacne states we need to log all separations (time outs) and state what we did to help before we used time out =
Steffan, Kaity08:20:21 pmHelping them learn through frustrating situations/moments
{Doerner, Hope}08:20:29 pmAlso says we have to meet with familes and create a plan if we are using that time out too often in a short periond of time'
Diaz, Kathryn08:20:51 pmWe don
Freudenberg, Beverly08:20:58 pmEven if it is called a break?
Cantrell, Heather08:20:52 pmyes
Diaz, Kathryn08:21:10 pmdont use time outs, but teachers do have quiet areas in their rooms
Fulda, Katherine08:21:19 pmwe do that at ours and we have behavioral plans that help the parents and teachers work together to help the child through the difficult behavoir or issue
{Doerner, Hope}08:21:29 pmYes - no matter what name we use - I will post language here
{Doerner, Hope}08:21:33 pmSubp. 4. Separation from the group. No child may be separated from the group unless the license holder has tried less intrusive methods of guiding the child's behavior which have been ineffective and the child's behavior threatens the well being of the child or other children in the center. A child who requires separation from the group must remain within an unenclosed part of the classroom where the child can be continuously seen and heard by a program staff person. When separation from the group is used as a behavior guidance technique, the child's return to the group must be contingent on the child's stopping or bringing under control the behavior that precipitated the separation, and the child must be returned to the group as soon as the behavior that precipitated the separation abates or stops. A child between the ages of six weeks and 16 months must not be separated from the group as a means of behavior guidance. §Subp. 5. Separation report. All separations from the group must be noted on a daily log. The license holder must ensure that notation in the log includes the child's name, staff person's name, time, date, and information indicating what less intrusive methods were used to guide the child's behavior and how the child's behavior continued to threaten the well being of the child or other children in care. If a child is separated from the group three times or more in one day, the child's parent shall be notified and notation of the parent notification shall be indicated on the daily log. If a child is separated five times or more in one week or eight times or more in two weeks, the procedure in subpart 2 must be followed.
Sommers, Krista08:21:36 pmyes making sure that the process we are using is also used at home so they
{Doerner, Hope}08:21:49 pmI will add the link and this section to my email after class as well
Heitkamp, Kristy08:22:13 pmthank you
Kaczor, Thomas08:22:29 pmwe have a have system for how many incidents require parent contact, how many require an excusal home, and home many require a conference for plan making
Sommers, Krista08:22:30 pmhave consistence
{Doerner, Hope}08:23:24 pmIt is good to think about - I would also encourage you if you are having a child with a lot of challengin behaviors to contact the Center for INclusive Childcare - they have grants for consults and they are working on reducung the number of expulsions form child care centers'
Kaczor, Thomas08:23:47 pmthank you for the resource!
{Doerner, Hope}08:23:56 pmShall we move on?**
Kaczor, Thomas08:23:59 pm*
Cantrell, Heather08:23:50 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:24:02 pm*
Steffan, Kaity08:24:03 pm*
Diaz, Kathryn08:24:03 pmAre they only working with providers who are parent aware?
Heitkamp, Kristy08:24:05 pm*
Pepple, Tiffany08:24:09 pm*
Diaz, Kathryn08:24:13 pm*
Sommers, Krista08:24:15 pm*
Briske, Krista08:24:17 pm*
Fulda, Katherine08:24:13 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:24:32 pm*
{Doerner, Hope}08:24:35 pmWhich of the four R’s of punishment do you see happening most often in your program?
Kaczor, Thomas08:24:52 pmretaliation
Sommers, Krista08:24:59 pmprobably rebellion
Freudenberg, Beverly08:25:04 pmresentment and rebellion
Aaker, Rebecca08:25:10 pmprobably rebellion. " you can't make me. I'll do what I want
Cantrell, Heather08:25:06 pmRebellion
Pepple, Tiffany08:25:21 pmRebellion
Heitkamp, Kristy08:25:25 pmrebellion
Fulda, Katherine08:25:21 pmrebellion for sure! we have a lot of smart ans stubborn kiddos
{Doerner, Hope}08:25:32 pmInteresting
Steffan, Kaity08:25:58 pmRebellion
{Doerner, Hope}08:25:58 pmHow do you think age of teh group impacts which you might see - you does it not impact it at all?
Briske, Krista08:26:09 pmRebellion
Diaz, Kathryn08:26:29 pmDevelopment plays a big roll in it I think
{Doerner, Hope}08:26:44 pmMe too Katyhryn- curious if you all see that too
Briske, Krista08:26:52 pmAgreed Kathryn
Sommers, Krista08:26:55 pmdefinitely younger act out and older revenge and retreat
Aaker, Rebecca08:26:57 pmThe younger the child ( thinking my 16 month old) will try it again if I am not watching
Fulda, Katherine08:26:50 pmi feel our 4-5 year olds are mor rebellious wheras our 2-3 year olds are retaliation and resentment in some cases
{Doerner, Hope}08:27:02 pmI find my toddlers are a bit mroe rebellious that retaliation
Kaczor, Thomas08:27:11 pmsome of my kiddos don't have the verbal skills to properly deal with conflict let alone the social skills to, so grabbing/hitting/biting are still common
Pepple, Tiffany08:27:18 pmI think kids repeat what they see, so if kids learn to act a certain way, then everyone starts to try out
{Doerner, Hope}08:27:18 pmLOL we can all see differences
Heitkamp, Kristy08:27:19 pm4-5 year old
{Doerner, Hope}08:27:56 pmI am also wondering if one or more of teh R's bothers us more so we spot it more easily or want to address it more
Pepple, Tiffany08:28:22 pmRetaliation
Aaker, Rebecca08:28:32 pmInteresting thought Hope
Briske, Krista08:28:35 pmRetaliation
{Doerner, Hope}08:28:39 pmSo important to know if we are bringing a bias into the room
Cantrell, Heather08:28:45 pmI find revenge towards a class mate bothers me most, but when its faced at me I regret to see resentment, because I love my kiddos
{Doerner, Hope}08:28:58 pmAlso if we see it in one child once or twice do we look for it more?
Freudenberg, Beverly08:29:35 pmyes
Sommers, Krista08:29:35 pmI feel like I am always on the lookout for rebellion. a lot of safety issues come into play with toddlers when they are being a rebel
{Doerner, Hope}08:29:45 pmCan we start to expect it and then find things that reinforce our beleifs
Heitkamp, Kristy08:29:45 pmyes
Schaible, Amy08:29:56 pmretreat(skeakyness)
Steffan, Kaity08:29:59 pmyes absolutely
Briske, Krista08:30:09 pmNot once or twice but if it’s a reoccurring event I pay more attention as then I don’t trust their word if I don’t catch it to see if there being honest about the situation
{Doerner, Hope}08:30:09 pmJust something to be aware of and try and understand our triggers or bias
Aaker, Rebecca08:30:13 pmI think so
Pepple, Tiffany08:30:15 pmYeah we always need to be careful to not cause a self fulfilling prophecy
{Doerner, Hope}08:30:23 pmExactly
Kaczor, Thomas08:30:28 pmi look out for retreat/resentment, I want the kiddos to learn but I wouldn't want them to hate or be scared of me
Fulda, Katherine08:30:40 pmrebellion and yes to be honest i do look for it more but my trust for the child is not once what it was either
{Doerner, Hope}08:31:11 pmGreat point - we never want to hurt our relationship - they may feel like we are retaliating - we need to make sure they know we love them but might not like all their acgtions
{Doerner, Hope}08:31:20 pmKeep the relationship strong
{Doerner, Hope}08:31:27 pmbut still hold them accountable
Diaz, Kathryn08:31:39 pmWhat about the kiddo who doesnt respond to all of the praise in the world and positive roll modeling
Cantrell, Heather08:31:44 pmI find rebellion to be the easiest to ignore/forgive. I find rebellion to be the most developmentally normal and a sign to change my teaching strategy to be more hands off. let natural consequences open teaching moments. but i also work most with toddlers
Sommers, Krista08:32:01 pmnever give uo Kathryn
Briske, Krista08:32:01 pmYesssss Kathryn
{Doerner, Hope}08:32:14 pmWe are going to dig into that a bit more next week Kathryn
Sommers, Krista08:32:16 pmup*
Diaz, Kathryn08:32:18 pmSuper
{Doerner, Hope}08:32:31 pmOK - last question for the night
{Doerner, Hope}08:32:33 pm**
Fulda, Katherine08:32:26 pmYes Id also like to know what to do in that situation!
Cantrell, Heather08:32:27 pm*
Sommers, Krista08:32:37 pm*
Freudenberg, Beverly08:32:40 pm*
Diaz, Kathryn08:32:41 pm*
Heitkamp, Kristy08:32:43 pm*
Schaible, Amy08:32:44 pmi too let natural consequences open teaching moments heather!
Aaker, Rebecca08:32:45 pm*
Schaible, Amy08:32:45 pm**
Briske, Krista08:32:48 pmI as well *
Fulda, Katherine08:32:47 pm*
{Doerner, Hope}08:32:56 pmWhat is the one method of punishment you are willing to give up in order to teach the children valuable life skills?
Kaczor, Thomas08:32:58 pm*
Aaker, Rebecca08:33:33 pmnagging. I don't feel like I do it alot. But it is definetly there. And lecturing
Freudenberg, Beverly08:33:42 pmlectures/naggig
Steffan, Kaity08:33:52 pmlecturing the kiddo for sure
Heitkamp, Kristy08:33:56 pmlectures
{Doerner, Hope}08:33:57 pmI bet the kiddos will be excited to have less nagging!
Schaible, Amy08:34:02 pmlecturing
{Doerner, Hope}08:34:11 pmand lectures which might sound like nagging to their ears
Fulda, Katherine08:34:28 pmdepending on the situation, breaks
Sommers, Krista08:34:42 pmdefinitely the time out strategy- it isn't working and I think they are going to realize they get to discuss how they are feeling more and I hope they start to do it more naturally
{Doerner, Hope}08:34:44 pmI like to ask myself - what am I teaching/modeling for them with this intervention?
Briske, Krista08:34:50 pmI could do breaks
Kaczor, Thomas08:34:54 pmmaking them feel guilty
{Doerner, Hope}08:35:19 pmJane - is a bit sneaky - she says no time outs but calls things time ins - so there is that conversation
Diaz, Kathryn08:35:53 pmThats a strategy that I've often used with kids who have experienced a lot of trauma
Sommers, Krista08:35:53 pmconfusing it is
{Doerner, Hope}08:35:53 pmI grew up in a house of shamers Thomas - I really try hard to avoid that one to not repeat the bad stuff
Kaczor, Thomas08:36:07 pmi also grew up in a house of shamers
Diaz, Kathryn08:36:36 pmI personally think it makes you look at how the child is feeling in the moment and how you can be their emotional partner and regulator
Fulda, Katherine08:36:34 pmme as well. guess it carrys forward if we dont fix it
{Doerner, Hope}08:36:57 pmThis is why it is good to see what you use and see if you are using things used on you - then think - were they helpful in the long run - if yes - go for it - if not - think of other options
{Doerner, Hope}08:37:29 pmYES - we do need to see the specific child, their specific situation and how they are feeling
{Doerner, Hope}08:37:53 pmAgreed - we want to stop as much as we can the stuff that was not helpful and may have even been hurtful to us
{Doerner, Hope}08:38:07 pmOK - any final thoughts or comments?
Schaible, Amy08:38:18 pmwhen teaching empathy usually the child feels guilty when they realize how they made their friend feel
{Doerner, Hope}08:38:27 pmI just sent out an email with next steps - please try hard to meet the due dates listed
Cantrell, Heather08:38:19 pmI think being cognizant of the strength of our bond should play into how we address situations, a stronger bond goes a lot farther in the child understanding our motives
Schaible, Amy08:38:29 pmfor me anyways'
Briske, Krista08:38:46 pmNo ready for nexts weeks chat!
{Doerner, Hope}08:39:00 pmYes - we do need to think about how the interactions will impact the relationship but we cannot ignore behaviors especially if they are imapct8ing others
{Doerner, Hope}08:39:09 pmGreat!
Sommers, Krista08:39:17 pmyou catch more bees with honey than salt!!
Diaz, Kathryn08:39:28 pmThank you! I'm looking forward to exploring some tools
{Doerner, Hope}08:39:47 pmAlways - and we are not here to make them feel bad but to help them learn and grow
Steffan, Kaity08:39:59 pmThank you Hope!
Pepple, Tiffany08:39:59 pmTeaching moments
Kaczor, Thomas08:40:19 pmthank you! I am going to go make some banana bread
{Doerner, Hope}08:40:40 pmThank you all! Good night
Briske, Krista08:40:40 pmMake sure to bring some by tomorrow on your way to work Thomas!
Briske, Krista08:40:47 pmThank you!
Aaker, Rebecca08:40:52 pmgood evening
Freudenberg, Beverly08:40:56 pmgood night
Heitkamp, Kristy08:41:12 pmthank you